Thursday, February 08, 2007


Have you every believe something so strongly that you would bet your life on it? What I mean is, that your conviction ran so deeply that you would chance being "cast out" by friends and family?At one point in my life I did. In my teens I became a Born again Christian. My life at the time was not so hot at home, lets leave it at that. Two local families took me under their wings. Somehow I ended up going to church with them. The short of a very long story is that I became a die hard believer. You don't know me too well, so let me tell you this. If I set my mind on something I take it on. Whole hearted and devoted. As I've gotten older I've found more of a balance with this part of me. But anyway.... So yes I was a Jesus loving crazy on fire Christian. Not only did I study the bible I taught old testament. Then I became a missionary and went to Africa. After that I moved to Miami and taught more old testament. While I was there I preached in a very Evangelical way.Then life started to flow together in my mind. I began to look at all the different people around me. My friends in Africa, who were Muslims or just tribe people. In Miami I became friends with people of all different ways of life.My mind started to change. It was hard at first because that meant I had to be OK with being wrong. Making a change after stating so proudly and strong that this was the right and only way.At this I was again cast out by all the people I loved as family. Yet I could not go on one more second saying that I believed when I found I was unable to believe in a God that discriminated. My point in telling you this is not about religion or faith. This was a time where I was not concerned with the reaction I would get. It just had to be done. I made a loud statement in what I believed and now I had to stand up and say...ya know what....I might be wrong. Whew! It was a humble time for me. The reaction was crazy to say the lest. At the time I was a youth group leader and a missionary at my church. They took this as a sign of weakness. Of loss of faith and of sin. One of my most dear friends told me that I would be going to hell for being gay and for denouncing Christ. The point? I hope I would be that brave again to say that I'm wrong to be open to new thinking and new ways. That as I age and get more set in my ways I find it within to be flexible with my convictions, not weak just flexible.

7 comments:

Jerry Hill said...

Great post Jen, thanks for sharing your heart and soul.

I'll cya in Hell.

;-)

Tom Brose said...

Hell=infinite tabata burpees.

Great post, thanks for being so open and intellegent.

Burnin right there along with you both...

josh2.2 said...

Thanks for sharing, great post.

Looking forward to meet you all down there in the firepit...

aileen said...

hey lady
awesome post. very fascinating, and very brave of you to post it up. when i first moved here/started crossfit i thought i was christian...and almost got baptized too.

Jen said...

Thanks all, see you at the party in hell!
Have a good workout on Sunday. I unable to come do to work being done on the house.
Get some!

Shirley B said...

Jen, thanks for make me laugh at work, and being so open. Love the picture of your dog.

reggie said...

Jen: Your honesty as well as your blogs are greatly appreciated by me. Thanks for taking the time to share your insights.

To quote a Curtis Mayfield song, "If there is a Hell below, we're all gonna go..." so I'll be there too. :-)